diff --git a/tests/test_static_js_syntax.py b/tests/test_static_js_syntax.py
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..51496caf2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/test_static_js_syntax.py
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+# SPDX-License-Identifier: AGPL-3.0-only
+# Copyright (c) 2026 sol pbc
+
+"""Syntax-check every first-party static JS file with ``node --check``.
+
+A doubled-escape apostrophe once shipped a parse error in shell_boot.js that
+silently killed all SPA-shell hydration — unit tests can't see browser parse
+failures, so this guard runs node's parser over every served script. Vendor
+bundles are third-party and excluded.
+"""
+
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+import shutil
+import subprocess
+from pathlib import Path
+
+import pytest
+
+REPO_ROOT = Path(__file__).resolve().parents[1]
+STATIC_ROOTS = [
+    REPO_ROOT / "solstone" / "convey" / "static",
+    *sorted((REPO_ROOT / "solstone" / "apps").glob("*/static")),
+]
+
+
+def _first_party_js() -> list[Path]:
+    files: list[Path] = []
+    for root in STATIC_ROOTS:
+        if not root.is_dir():
+            continue
+        for path in sorted(root.rglob("*.js")):
+            if "vendor" in path.relative_to(root).parts:
+                continue
+            files.append(path)
+    return files
+
+
+@pytest.mark.skipif(shutil.which("node") is None, reason="node not available")
+def test_static_js_parses() -> None:
+    files = _first_party_js()
+    assert files, "expected first-party static JS files to exist"
+    failures = []
+    for path in files:
+        result = subprocess.run(
+            ["node", "--check", str(path)],
+            capture_output=True,
+            text=True,
+        )
+        if result.returncode != 0:
+            failures.append(f"{path.relative_to(REPO_ROOT)}\n{result.stderr.strip()}")
+    assert not failures, "static JS failed to parse:\n" + "\n\n".join(failures)