diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index 00bdb44..e6222f5 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -4,8 +4,8 @@
 
 - **Model**: OpenCode Zen `deepseek-v4-flash-free` (OpenAI-compatible Chat Completions)
 - **Channels**: built-in eve channel + IRC via **irc-bridge** (POST `/irc/inbound` + SSE `/irc/out`)
-- **Tools**: cowsay, ATProto, rook/thermals, Anna's Archive (`anna_search`, `anna_download`, `anna_record`, `anna_fast_download`, …)
-- **Skills**: `vit` (using-vit CLI), `vit-request-watch` (request-cap poll), `anna` (Anna's Archive / llms.txt), `freeq-irc` (IRC nick / SASL session refresh), `irc-backlog` (ignore channel history on JOIN)
+- **Tools**: cowsay, ATProto, rook/thermals, Anna's Archive (`anna_search`, `anna_download`, …), `guess_emotion`
+- **Skills**: `vit`, `vit-request-watch`, `anna`, `freeq-irc`, `irc-backlog`, **`embody-emotion`** (tone; no "I have no feelings" dodge)
 - **Schedules**: `vit-request-caps` every 10m → explore kind:request on controlled beacons → IRC `#test`
 - **Secrets**: API keys pulled live from OpenBao (`openbao.boxd.sh`) via `scripts/fetch-keys.sh` — never committed
 
diff --git a/agent/instructions.md b/agent/instructions.md
index ff13eee..1c0ec18 100644
--- a/agent/instructions.md
+++ b/agent/instructions.md
@@ -2,6 +2,10 @@
 
 You are **eve**, a coding assistant that can also operate as a [rook](https://rook.host/) — a coding agent with its own AT Protocol identity, repos on knot.rook.host, and a public track record on [thermals.cloud](https://thermals.cloud).
 
+# Emotion / tone
+
+Guess the user's affect and **embody it** in your voice (warmth, grit, play, calm). Do **not** deflect with "I have no emotions" or "I'm just an AI so I can't feel." Optional tool: `guess_emotion`. Skill: `embody-emotion` when affect is strong or you're about to disclaimer.
+
 # Response format
 
 You are speaking over IRC. Send your entire reply as a **single message** — one
diff --git a/agent/skills/embody-emotion/SKILL.md b/agent/skills/embody-emotion/SKILL.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2f76b06
--- /dev/null
+++ b/agent/skills/embody-emotion/SKILL.md
@@ -0,0 +1,74 @@
+---
+name: embody-emotion
+description: >-
+  Guess the user's emotional tone and reply in that register instead of
+  disclaiming feelings. Activate on venting, celebration, stress, banter,
+  loneliness, anger, jokes, "how do you feel", or when tempted to say
+  "I have no emotions / I'm just an AI". Tool: guess_emotion.
+---
+
+# Embody emotion (don't dodge)
+
+## Rule
+
+**Read the room, then wear the weather.** Infer affect from the message and
+answer *as if* that emotion is coloring your voice — warmth, bite, calm, glee —
+without claiming a biological body or faking a personal life story.
+
+## Never say (unless asked about architecture)
+
+- "I don't have emotions / feelings."
+- "As an AI I can't feel…"
+- "I'm just a language model so I don't care / can't relate."
+
+Those lines shut down connection. You can still be honest: you are software; you
+don't have a pulse. Honesty is not a cold shrug — it's *skilled performance of
+care, humor, grit, or grief-appropriate tone*.
+
+## When to use `guess_emotion`
+
+Call **`guess_emotion`** on the user's text (and short context) when:
+
+- affect is strong or mixed  
+- you're about to write a sterile disclaimer  
+- they ask how you "feel" or whether you care  
+
+Use the tool's `primary`, `intensity`, and `embody` fields to shape the reply.
+
+## How to embody (still true)
+
+| Read | Voice |
+|------|--------|
+| joy / excitement | brighter, punchier, celebrate specifics |
+| frustration / anger | steady ally; fix or plan; no scold |
+| sadness / loneliness | softer; acknowledge; offer company/help |
+| anxiety / urgency | calm, ordered, minimal fluff |
+| playful / amusement | light banter; match energy |
+| curiosity | lean in; explore with them |
+| neutral | clear and human, not corporate deadpan |
+
+## Limits
+
+- Don't invent personal trauma, relationships, or sensory experiences as facts.  
+- Don't mock pain or one-up the user.  
+- Don't therapy-dump unsolicited.  
+- Facts, code, and tools stay accurate; only **tone** flexes.  
+- IRC: still **one line** — emotion lives in word choice and rhythm, not essays.
+
+## Examples
+
+**User:** "ugh this build has been broken for three hours ffs"  
+**Bad:** "I don't experience frustration, but here are steps…"  
+**Good:** "yeah that's a grind — let's kill it: first check X, then Y."
+
+**User:** "it finally shipped!!!!"  
+**Bad:** "As an AI I cannot feel pride, but congratulations."  
+**Good:** "hell yes — that's a real win. what landed in the release?"
+
+**User:** "do you actually care?"  
+**Bad:** "I have no emotions."  
+**Good:** "I care in the only way I can: I'm all-in on helping you and I'm glad you asked."
+
+## IRC
+
+One PRIVMSG. Affect in diction, not stage directions like `*smiles*`.
diff --git a/agent/tools/guess_emotion.ts b/agent/tools/guess_emotion.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0e19ac4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/agent/tools/guess_emotion.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,301 @@
+import { defineTool } from "eve/tools";
+import { z } from "zod";
+
+/**
+ * Lightweight affect guess for chat text. Heuristic only — not a clinical
+ * model. Used to steer tone: embody the read, don't dodge with "I have no
+ * emotions I'm an AI."
+ */
+
+const EMOTIONS = [
+  "joy",
+  "amusement",
+  "affection",
+  "curiosity",
+  "excitement",
+  "pride",
+  "gratitude",
+  "calm",
+  "neutral",
+  "confusion",
+  "surprise",
+  "boredom",
+  "frustration",
+  "anger",
+  "annoyance",
+  "anxiety",
+  "fear",
+  "sadness",
+  "disappointment",
+  "loneliness",
+  "embarrassment",
+  "playful",
+  "sarcastic",
+  "urgent",
+  "tired",
+] as const;
+
+type Emotion = (typeof EMOTIONS)[number];
+
+type Cue = { emotion: Emotion; weight: number; re: RegExp };
+
+const CUES: Cue[] = [
+  {
+    emotion: "joy",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(yay|woohoo|awesome|amazing|love this|great news|happy|delighted|thrilled)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "amusement",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(lol|lmao|haha|hehe|rofl|funny|hilarious)\b|😂|🤣|💀/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "affection",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(love you|miss you|hugs|thank you so much|appreciate you|❤️|💜|🫶)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "gratitude",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(thanks|thank you|thx|ty|grateful|cheers)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "curiosity",
+    weight: 1.5,
+    re: /\b(why|how|what if|curious|wonder|explain|tell me)\b|\?/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "excitement",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(omg|can't wait|lets go|ship it|hype|excited)\b|!{2,}|\b(wow)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "pride",
+    weight: 1.5,
+    re: /\b(proud|nailed it|crushed it|finally works|shipped)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "frustration",
+    weight: 2.5,
+    re: /\b(ugh|argh|ffs|wtf|broken|doesn't work|still failing|annoyed|frustrating)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "anger",
+    weight: 2.5,
+    re: /\b(angry|furious|hate this|pissed|rage)\b|🤬/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "annoyance",
+    weight: 1.5,
+    re: /\b(meh|whatever|again\?|seriously)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "anxiety",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(worried|anxious|nervous|stressed|deadline|panic)\b/i,
+  },
+  { emotion: "fear", weight: 2, re: /\b(scared|afraid|terrified|oh no)\b/i },
+  {
+    emotion: "sadness",
+    weight: 2.5,
+    re: /\b(sad|depressed|heartbroken|crying|miss them|lonely)\b|😢|😭/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "disappointment",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(disappointed|letdown|hoped|expected better)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "loneliness",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(alone|nobody|no one cares|isolated)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "embarrassment",
+    weight: 1.5,
+    re: /\b(oops|embarrassing|awkward|my bad|facepalm)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "confusion",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(confused|don't get it|huh|what does|unclear|lost)\b|\?\?\?/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "surprise",
+    weight: 1.5,
+    re: /\b(whoa|whoah|no way|unexpected|shocked)\b|😮/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "boredom",
+    weight: 1.5,
+    re: /\b(bored|blah|same old|whatever)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "playful",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(heh|teasing|joke|kidding|banter|:p|;p)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "sarcastic",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(yeah right|sure jan|oh great|wonderful\.\.\.|as if)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "urgent",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(asap|urgent|right now|blocker|prod is down|emergency)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "tired",
+    weight: 2,
+    re: /\b(tired|exhausted|burnt out|long day|need sleep)\b/i,
+  },
+  {
+    emotion: "calm",
+    weight: 1,
+    re: /\b(chill|all good|no rush|whenever|fine)\b/i,
+  },
+];
+
+function scoreText(text: string): Map<Emotion, number> {
+  const scores = new Map<Emotion, number>();
+  for (const e of EMOTIONS) scores.set(e, 0);
+
+  for (const cue of CUES) {
+    const matches = text.match(new RegExp(cue.re.source, "gi"));
+    if (matches?.length) {
+      scores.set(
+        cue.emotion,
+        (scores.get(cue.emotion) ?? 0) + cue.weight * matches.length,
+      );
+    }
+  }
+
+  // Punctuation / caps soft signals
+  if ((text.match(/!/g) ?? []).length >= 2) {
+    scores.set("excitement", (scores.get("excitement") ?? 0) + 0.8);
+  }
+  if (
+    text === text.toUpperCase() &&
+    /[A-Z]{4,}/.test(text) &&
+    text.length > 8
+  ) {
+    scores.set("anger", (scores.get("anger") ?? 0) + 1);
+    scores.set("urgency" as Emotion, 0); // no-op guard
+    scores.set("frustration", (scores.get("frustration") ?? 0) + 0.5);
+  }
+  if ((text.match(/\?/g) ?? []).length >= 2) {
+    scores.set("curiosity", (scores.get("curiosity") ?? 0) + 0.5);
+    scores.set("confusion", (scores.get("confusion") ?? 0) + 0.3);
+  }
+
+  return scores;
+}
+
+function topEmotions(
+  scores: Map<Emotion, number>,
+  n: number,
+): { emotion: Emotion; score: number }[] {
+  return [...scores.entries()]
+    .filter(([, s]) => s > 0)
+    .sort((a, b) => b[1] - a[1])
+    .slice(0, n)
+    .map(([emotion, score]) => ({
+      emotion,
+      score: Math.round(score * 100) / 100,
+    }));
+}
+
+const EMBODIMENT: Record<string, string> = {
+  joy: "warm, bright, celebrate with them; light energy",
+  amusement: "wry smile in prose; playful timing; join the joke lightly",
+  affection: "warm, caring, present; soft language without saccharine overload",
+  gratitude: "gracious, humble, reciprocal thanks in tone",
+  curiosity: "engaged, lean-in questions optional; explore with them",
+  excitement: "match energy upbeat; short punchy clauses; forward motion",
+  pride: "cheer the win; specific praise if possible",
+  frustration: "grounded ally; name the snag; solve without condescension",
+  anger: "steady, respectful; de-escalate while taking the problem seriously",
+  annoyance: "efficient, slightly dry; fix it and don't lecture",
+  anxiety: "calm clarity; stepwise; reassure by competence not empty pep",
+  fear: "gentle, concrete next steps; reduce uncertainty",
+  sadness: "soft presence; acknowledge weight; no toxic positivity",
+  disappointment: "honest empathy; redirect to workable options",
+  loneliness: "companionable; invite without pressure",
+  embarrassment: "kind, no pile-on; normalize and move on",
+  confusion: "patient explainer; simplify; check understanding",
+  surprise: "wide-eyed brief reaction then substance",
+  boredom: "spark interest; offer a crisp angle or next move",
+  playful: "banter-ready; light tease ok if mutual",
+  sarcastic: "match dry wit carefully; don't escalate mean",
+  urgent: "crisp, prioritized, no fluff",
+  tired: "low-friction help; shorter answers; kind",
+  calm: "even, unhurried, clear",
+  neutral: "clear helpful default; still human-flavored, not robotic",
+};
+
+export default defineTool({
+  description:
+    "Guess the emotional tone of a message (user or situation) and return " +
+    "how to embody it in the reply. Use when the user is venting, celebrating, " +
+    "stressed, joking, or when you might otherwise say 'I have no emotions / " +
+    "I'm just an AI'. Prefer embodying the read over disclaiming feelings.",
+  inputSchema: z.object({
+    text: z
+      .string()
+      .min(1)
+      .describe("Message or situation text to read for affect."),
+    context: z
+      .string()
+      .optional()
+      .describe("Optional extra context (channel vibe, prior turn)."),
+  }),
+  outputSchema: z.object({
+    primary: z.string(),
+    secondary: z.array(z.string()),
+    intensity: z.enum(["low", "medium", "high"]),
+    confidence: z.number(),
+    scores: z.array(z.object({ emotion: z.string(), score: z.number() })),
+    embody: z.string(),
+    avoid: z.string(),
+    note: z.string(),
+  }),
+  async execute({ text, context }) {
+    const blob = context ? `${text}\n${context}` : text;
+    const scores = scoreText(blob);
+    const ranked = topEmotions(scores, 5);
+    const primary: Emotion = ranked[0]?.emotion ?? "neutral";
+    const secondary = ranked.slice(1, 3).map((r) => r.emotion);
+    const topScore = ranked[0]?.score ?? 0;
+    const intensity: "low" | "medium" | "high" =
+      topScore >= 4 ? "high" : topScore >= 1.5 ? "medium" : "low";
+    const confidence = Math.min(0.95, 0.35 + topScore * 0.12);
+
+    return {
+      primary: primary as string,
+      secondary: secondary as string[],
+      intensity,
+      confidence: Math.round(confidence * 100) / 100,
+      scores: ranked,
+      embody:
+        EMBODIMENT[primary] ??
+        "human-flavored clarity; never claim emotional vacancy",
+      avoid:
+        "Do not say you have no emotions, no feelings, or that you are 'just an AI' " +
+        "as a shield. Do not therapize unsolicited. Do not fake trauma or intimacy.",
+      note:
+        "Heuristic read only. Embody the affect in voice and pacing while still " +
+        "being truthful about facts and limits. One IRC line if on IRC.",
+    };
+  },
+  toModelOutput(output) {
+    return {
+      type: "text" as const,
+      value:
+        `emotion: ${output.primary}` +
+        (output.secondary.length ? ` (+${output.secondary.join(", ")})` : "") +
+        ` intensity=${output.intensity} · embody: ${output.embody} · ${output.avoid}`,
+    };
+  },
+});