Shavasana brought this to mind. She does love how memories show themselves out in the supine state. She was too young then and wanted to be so old. She chose him because of his careful images and because of how he wrote to her. Sharp cold and eyes all over. Soon after rapid texting she went to see him. Shorter than he said he would be. Small even. Suspicious seeming. Still went with him to his apartment. Scandi style work from home kawaii decor in there. Saw all the figurines and light wood. Saw his work on display. Saw the photos of his open relationship girlfriend. Striking. Surveyed his cool objects and new money. Sat on the red couch across the room from him. Stared. Slavic like her. Same age as Sean is now. She was interested in eating his food and looking around. Secretly she wanted to become like him too. Sort of dripped out and independent off of art. She wanted to learn how people could be this way. She had never met a man who wasn’t her teacher or her uncle. She wondered if she was smart (special?) enough to talk to him or if he was pretending like she was for sexual aspirations. Sad instant noodles of a vegan variety offered. Slurped them like worms. Something else packaged too that she can’t remember now. Seaweed or cookies. Soon she was nodding off on the couch in the brilliant air conditioning. She felt him touch her hands, arms, shoulders. She would learn later that her body reserved its deepest rest for the company of men. She would learn that sleep came very reverently when she felt guarded by a neurotic seeming someone. She woke up with him fully lying on her, his back crushed into hers. She felt his bird bones digging. Spine to spine. Something was taboo about this, something was incorrect. Suddenly startled, had to get out of there. Stayed too long and had a feeling. Serial killer vibes. Still she felt like she was breaking a promise. She told him she’d come back. She would get comfortable lying like this. She was too young to even have a purse to grab. Slanted gold light on the floor. Stumbling downstairs still stuck in her