diff --git a/pop/loner/bin/halo3.py b/pop/loner/bin/halo3.py
index b7f67182a7..30aa2eabe9 100644
--- a/pop/loner/bin/halo3.py
+++ b/pop/loner/bin/halo3.py
@@ -239,14 +239,23 @@ CHART = {
                                        7: 2.0,
                                        8: 2.0, 9: 4.0, 10: 3.0, 11: 3.0,
                                        # very longer, patiently slower
-                                       14: 4.0,
-                                       # pa 2 · tient 1.5 · ly 1.5 = the
-                                       # same 5 beats patiently had
-                                       15: 2.0, 16: 1.5, 17: 1.5 },
+                                       # the tail on bars: just and waiting
+                                       # a bar each (waiting on bar 8:1),
+                                       # very as TWO notes, and "pa" held a
+                                       # full bar because at 2 beats it was
+                                       # too fast and abrupt
+                                       12: 4.0, 13: 4.0, 14: 2.0, 15: 2.0,
+                                       16: 4.0, 17: 1.5, 18: 1.5 },
                              # words whose syllables carry a melody must not
                              # be flattened to one tone by THE HOLD
                              # patiently is pa·tient·ly, three notes
-                             "sylls": { 13: [(None, "pa"), (16.80, "tient"), (17.70, "ly")] },
+                             "sylls": { 12: [(None, "ve"), (15.05, "ry")],
+                                        13: [(None, "pa"), (16.80, "tient"),
+                                             (17.70, "ly")] },
+                             # "pa" sings F4, a leap up from very's A#3.
+                             # Down one scale step to D#4 keeps the phrase
+                             # from jumping before it descends.
+                             "shift": { 16: -2 },
                              # source seconds, read off her onsets, for the
                              # words whisper-1 mistimed. PRE-split indices.
                              "end": 24.25,
@@ -830,6 +839,20 @@ for name, ch in CHART.items():
         f0_o[o0:o1] = np.where(voiced_o[o0:o1],
                                f0_o[o0:o1] * (1 - blend) + tgt * vib * blend, 0.0)
 
+    # PER-SYLLABLE TRANSPOSE. Sometimes the note she sang is not the note
+    # the score wants — @jeffrey: "the pa in patiently should be pitched
+    # down". `shift` moves one unit by N semitones, in her f0 AND in the
+    # chart, so the pluck doubles the new note rather than the old one.
+    for ui, semis in (ch.get("shift") or {}).items():
+        if not (0 <= ui < len(ch["units"])):
+            continue
+        bt, du = ch["units"][ui]
+        o0 = Z + int(round(bt * SPB / FRAME_S))
+        o1 = Z + int(round((bt + du) * SPB / FRAME_S))
+        o0, o1 = max(0, o0), min(len(f0_o), o1)
+        if o1 > o0:
+            f0_o[o0:o1] *= 2.0 ** (semis / 12.0)
+
     renders = {}
     out, _ = synth_from(a, idx, f0_o, fade=fade, rise=rise, rests=rests)
     sf.write(os.path.join(VOX4, f"{name}.wav"), out, fs)
@@ -884,6 +907,7 @@ for name, ch in CHART.items():
     notes = []
     for u, (wd, (beat, durb)) in enumerate(zip(words, ch["units"])):
         st = int(np.round(12.0 * np.log2(wd["f0_hz"] / TONIC))) if wd["f0_hz"] else 0
+        st += int((ch.get("shift") or {}).get(u, 0))
         notes.append((beat, durb, st, wd["t"].strip(),
                       round(ants[u] * FRAME_S / SPB, 4) if u < len(ants) else 0.0))
     chart_c.append((name, lead_in, beats_total, notes))
diff --git a/pop/loner/c/loner-chart.h b/pop/loner/c/loner-chart.h
index 6b64357c41..58e11f4d61 100644
--- a/pop/loner/c/loner-chart.h
+++ b/pop/loner/c/loner-chart.h
@@ -25,16 +25,17 @@ static const ChartNote w_whole_line_notes[] = {
     { 18.00, 4.00, 12 },
     { 22.00, 3.00, 10 },
     { 25.00, 3.00, 5 },
-    { 28.00, 3.50, 2 },
-    { 31.50, 4.50, 3 },
-    { 36.00, 4.00, 0 },
-    { 40.00, 2.00, 7 },
-    { 42.00, 1.50, 5 },
-    { 43.50, 1.50, 3 },
-    { 45.00, 2.00, 5 },
-    { 47.00, 4.50, 7 },
-    { 51.50, 4.00, 3 },
-    { 55.50, 3.00, 3 },
+    { 28.00, 4.00, 2 },
+    { 32.00, 4.00, 3 },
+    { 36.00, 2.00, 0 },
+    { 38.00, 2.00, -2 },
+    { 40.00, 4.00, 5 },
+    { 44.00, 1.50, 5 },
+    { 45.50, 1.50, 3 },
+    { 47.00, 2.00, 5 },
+    { 49.00, 4.50, 7 },
+    { 53.50, 4.00, 3 },
+    { 57.50, 3.00, 3 },
 };
 static const ChartNote w_sitting_curled_notes[] = {
     { 0.00, 3.00, 6 },
@@ -91,7 +92,7 @@ static const ChartNote w_n_for_time_to_pass_notes[] = {
 };
 
 static const ChartPhrase CHART[] = {
-    { "w-whole-line", 0.490, 58.50, 22, w_whole_line_notes },
+    { "w-whole-line", 0.490, 60.50, 23, w_whole_line_notes },
     { "w-sitting-curled", 0.020, 11.00, 5, w_sitting_curled_notes },
     { "w-i-think", 0.020, 3.50, 2, w_i_think_notes },
     { "w-of-a-stone", 0.000, 8.00, 3, w_of_a_stone_notes },
diff --git a/pop/loner/vox4/.chart.json b/pop/loner/vox4/.chart.json
index de3c8308c5..eb5224daa1 100644
--- a/pop/loner/vox4/.chart.json
+++ b/pop/loner/vox4/.chart.json
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 {
  "w-whole-line": {
   "leadIn": 0.49,
-  "beats": 58.5,
+  "beats": 60.5,
   "voiced": [
    [
     0.0,
@@ -21,27 +21,27 @@
    ],
    [
     24.9998,
-    31.2015
+    31.6997
    ],
    [
-    31.4963,
-    41.8968
+    32.0047,
+    43.8997
    ],
    [
-    41.9985,
-    44.9367
+    44.0013,
+    46.9395
    ],
    [
-    44.9977,
-    46.8988
+    47.0005,
+    48.9017
    ],
    [
-    47.0005,
-    55.0627
+    49.0033,
+    57.0655
    ],
    [
-    55.2558,
-    59.3123
+    57.2587,
+    61.3152
    ]
   ],
   "notes": [
@@ -131,69 +131,76 @@
    },
    {
     "beat": 28.0,
-    "dur": 3.5,
+    "dur": 4.0,
     "st": 2,
     "t": "just",
     "lead": 0.0
    },
    {
-    "beat": 31.5,
-    "dur": 4.5,
+    "beat": 32.0,
+    "dur": 4.0,
     "st": 3,
     "t": "waiting",
     "lead": 0.244
    },
    {
     "beat": 36.0,
-    "dur": 4.0,
+    "dur": 2.0,
     "st": 0,
-    "t": "very",
+    "t": "ve",
     "lead": 0.0
    },
    {
-    "beat": 40.0,
+    "beat": 38.0,
     "dur": 2.0,
-    "st": 7,
+    "st": -2,
+    "t": "ry",
+    "lead": 0.0
+   },
+   {
+    "beat": 40.0,
+    "dur": 4.0,
+    "st": 5,
     "t": "pa",
     "lead": 0.0
    },
    {
-    "beat": 42.0,
+    "beat": 44.0,
     "dur": 1.5,
     "st": 5,
     "t": "tient",
     "lead": 0.0915
    },
    {
-    "beat": 43.5,
+    "beat": 45.5,
     "dur": 1.5,
     "st": 3,
     "t": "ly",
     "lead": 0.0
    },
    {
-    "beat": 45.0,
+    "beat": 47.0,
     "dur": 2.0,
     "st": 5,
     "t": "for",
     "lead": 0.0508
    },
    {
-    "beat": 47.0,
+    "beat": 49.0,
     "dur": 4.5,
     "st": 7,
     "t": "time",
     "lead": 0.0712
    },
    {
-    "beat": 51.5,
+    "beat": 53.5,
     "dur": 4.0,
     "st": 3,
     "t": "to",
     "lead": 0.0
    },
    {
-    "beat": 55.5,
+    "beat": 57.5,
     "dur": 3.0,
     "st": 3,
     "t": "pass",
diff --git a/pop/loner/vox4/.manifest.json b/pop/loner/vox4/.manifest.json
index 93a401f8f9..0a1e4dc78b 100644
--- a/pop/loner/vox4/.manifest.json
+++ b/pop/loner/vox4/.manifest.json
@@ -2,13 +2,13 @@
  "w-whole-line": {
   "slice": "f-whole-line",
   "lead_in": 0.49,
-  "beats": 58.5,
+  "beats": 60.5,
   "renders": {
-   "lead": 29.66,
-   "8ve-a": 29.66,
-   "8ve-b": 29.66,
-   "low3": 29.66,
-   "low5": 29.66
+   "lead": 30.645,
+   "8ve-a": 30.645,
+   "8ve-b": 30.645,
+   "low3": 30.645,
+   "low5": 30.645
   },
   "snaps": [
    "curled +65ms",
@@ -21,7 +21,8 @@
    "stone -45ms",
    "just +80ms",
    "waiting -100ms",
-   "very +65ms",
+   "ve +65ms",
+   "ry +160ms",
    "pa +80ms",
    "tient -15ms",
    "ly -5ms",
@@ -36,7 +37,7 @@
    "think \u2212350ms",
    "stone \u2212675ms",
    "just \u2212195ms",
-   "very \u2212520ms",
+   "ry \u2212520ms",
    "tient \u2212480ms",
    "time \u2212855ms"
   ],